Deep Listening

A conversation btw Oprah and the Monk Nhat Hanh. I found this piece to be particularly full of wisdom. I love it. I use to always want to jump in and give advice or my opinion, but I learned that sometimes just being there and listening to what others have to say is better than giving advice. This past month really helped me see how important deep listening is and I choose to now exercise it with people I truly love and care about.

Nhat Hanh: Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. Even if he says things that are full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, you are still capable of continuing to listen with compassion. Because you know that listening like that, you give that person a chance to suffer less. If you want to help him to correct his perception, you wait for another time. For now, you don't interrupt. You don't argue. If you do, he loses his chance. You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. One hour like that can bring transformation and healing.

Oprah: I love this idea of deep listening, because often when someone comes to you and wants to vent, it's so tempting to start giving advice. But if you allow the person just to let the feelings out, and then at another time come back with advice or comments, that person would experience a deeper healing. That's what you're saying.

Nhat Hanh: Yes. Deep listening helps us to recognize the existence of wrong perceptions in the other person and wrong perceptions in us. The other person has wrong perceptions about himself and about us. And we have wrong perceptions about ourselves and the other person. And that is the foundation for violence and conflict and war. The terrorists, they have the wrong perception. They believe that the other group is trying to destroy them as a religion, as a civilization. So they want to abolish us, to kill us before we can kill them. And the antiterrorist may think very much the same way—that these are terrorists and they are trying to eliminate us, so we have to eliminate them first. Both sides are motivated by fear, by anger, and by wrong perception. But wrong perceptions cannot be removed by guns and bombs. They should be removed by deep listening, compassionate listening, and loving space.

Trust

"Trust is the confidence in the integrity of a person to act in a particular way. Forgiveness is past oriented while trust is present and future focused. Forgiveness is about letting go while trust is about holding on. Forgiveness is something undeserved; trust is something earned"

Conscience

Polished skills + No Conscience = Disaster

The shaping of ones conscience, (AL NAFS in arabic) begins at a very young age. I remember seeing how my fathers conscience would make him overcome his pride and humble himself in situations that were difficult. Observing how his conscience guided his behavior had a really big influence on me and how I dealt with things.

From him I learned my moral code that governed and influenced my conscience. I learned how to act "moral" and how to "do the right thing" from seeing how my father dealt with things and people and so from ma daddy I learned that its extremely important to have a healthy moral enforcer that will tell you when your behaving out of line.

I am human, and the slippage occurs. I ,at times, ( and still do from time to time) contradict my "moral Code" and hurt myself as well as others. However, I have always had that "code enforcer" and therefore knew, was very aware, and still am, of every immoral thing I do and say.(And when I say "immoral" I strictly mean this from a social/religious standard of ethical and non ethical behaviors)My conscience is ever present and very self- NOTIFYING, I could say, when I start to BS.

Its also important to know the moral code of a dating partner and friend. A persons values, morals and how they handle difficult people, strangers, being angry and money tell you a lot about their conscience. A consistent and healthy self- monitoring conscience is a MUST. A partner/friend with a healthy conscience will admit to mistakes, apologize when necessary, avoid immoral behavior and uphold honorable standards of character. Avoid people who don't have a conscience or don't act on their conscience because thats a quick call to disaster.

random

Often times I get caught up in a mix of emotions which come from the result of a certain loss, whether it be a significant other I truly cared about or an individual I considered a really good friend.

I have made mistakes and perhaps have done some stupid things. Most of the negative things I have done in the past or continue to do are always unintentional and mostly a defense mechanism. But, I have learned through my experiences that although hurting people hurt others, its still no excuse and I should consciously be aware of the things I say, how I say them and how they are perceived by people I truly care about. I have loved and lost, but who hasnt?

I live and learn, make mistakes and attempt to correct them. I will never shy away or be too proud to apologize to people who deserve to be apologized to.

....cus you live and you learn from every burn and every kick.

All I know is I need to continue to work on the things I need to work on... which include empowering my mind, soul and spirit and taking myself away from any negative situation, place or person without hurting anyone in the process.

Violence against Women

According to the Canadian W omen's Foundation, statistics show that violence against women is a very serious issue in Canada:

* Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
* Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted.
* One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
* Spousal violence makes up the single largest category of convictions involving violent of fences in non-specialized adult courts in Canada over the five-year period 1997/98 to 2001/02. Over 90% of offenders were male.
* Thirty-six percent of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.
* Violence against women occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious, age, social and economic groups.
* In 2004, twice as many women than men were beaten by their partners and four times as many were choked.
* Of the almost 34,000 victims of spousal violence reported in 2000, women accounted for the majority of victims (85%): a total of 28,633 victims.
* Women are three times more likely than men to be physically injured by spousal violence and five times more likely to require medical attention.
* Women are five times more likely to fear for their lives as a result of spousal violence: the violence or threat of violence was so severe that 38% of women feared for their lives compared with 7% of men.
* Every year in Canada, up to 360,000 children are exposed to domestic violence.For children who are exposed to violence, consequences can include emotional trauma, depression, injury and permanent disability, as well as other physical, psychological and behavioral problems that can extend into adolescence and adulthood.
* 58,486 women and 36,840 children sought refuge in one of 473 shelters across Canada between April 1, 2003 and March 31, 2004.

These statistics highlight the need for social programs and services to address and help eliminate violence against women.The Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic provides free legal, counseling and cultural interpretation services for survivors of violence and has provided these services to over 35,000 women.

How can you help?
By Volunteering or Donating
Call 416-323-9149

Be indifferent to the Impermanent

Don’t latch on to things because most things are impermanent. A lot of us tend to cling to material things because those material things make us feel better about ourselves. Unfortunately this addiction to materialism becomes a way of life. More so then not, these things become more important to us then having valuable friendships and meaningful relationships. We start to value individuals who will bring us closer to our material needs, whether it is a man who will “take care of” and “shower” a woman with the Fendi, Prada and Gucci or whether it be a “New friend” who will get us into all the VIP parties and latest events. It s about time we evaluate our relationships and value things that are permanent such as love, real love, and true friendship.

Love/hate relationships...it couldntv bin said better

This is probably the most interesting theory I have found about relationships. I think Mr. Tolle beautifully pinpoints the root of the problem in a wide range of relationships, and I could definitely relate. His analysis isn't solely based on relationships between male and female ( from my perspective) it also covers the wide dysfunction that often occurs in family relationships and friendships. I recommend you read this piece with an open mind free from any form of bias and truly attempt to understand the essence of his message.

"It seems that most “love relationships” become love/hate relationships before long. Love can then turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch. This is considered normal. The relationship then oscillates for a while, a few months or a few years, between the polarities of “love” and hate, and it gives you as much pleasure as it gives you pain. It is not uncommon for couples to become addicted to those cycles. Their drama makes them feel alive. When a balance between the positive/negative polarities is lost and the negative, destructive cycles occur with increasing frequency and intensity, which tends to happen sooner or later, then it will not be long before the relationship finally collapses.

It may appear that if you could only eliminate the negative or destructive cycles, then all would be well and the relationship would flower beautifully ― but alas, this is not possible. The polarities are mutually interdependent. You cannot have one without the other. The positive already contains within itself the as yet unmanifested negative. Both are in fact different aspects of the same dysfunction. I am speaking here of what is commonly called romantic relationships ― not of true love, which has no opposite because it arises from beyond the mind. Love as a continuous state is as yet very rare ― as rare as conscious human beings. Brief and elusive glimpses of love, however, are possible whenever there is a gap in the stream of mind.

The negative side of a relationship is, of course, more easily recognizable as dysfunctional than the positive one. And it is also easier to recognize the source of negativity in your partner than to see it in yourself. It can manifest in many forms: possessiveness, jealousy, control, withdrawal and unspoken resentment, the need to be right, insensitivity and self-absorption, emotional demands and manipulation, the urge to argue, criticize, judge, blame, or attack, anger, unconscious revenge for past pain inflicted by a parent, rage and physical violence.

On the positive side, you are “in love” with your partner. This is at first a deeply satisfying state. You feel intensely alive. Your existence has suddenly become meaningful because someone needs you, wants you, and makes you feel special, and you do the same for him or her. When you are together, you feel whole. The feeling can become so intense that the rest of the world fades into insignificance.

However, you may also have noticed that there is a neediness and a clinging quality to that intensity. You become addicted to the other person. He or she acts on you like a drug. You are on a high when the drug is available, but even the possibility or the thought that he or she might no longer be there for you can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, attempts at manipulation through emotional blackmail, blaming and accusing ― fear of loss. If the other person does leave you, this can give rise to the most intense hostility or the most profound grief and despair. In an instant, loving tenderness can turn into a savage attack or dreadful grief. Where is the love now? Can love change into its opposite in an instant? Was it love in the first place, or just an addictive grasping and clinging?"

BAMMMMMMMMMMMM

Salvation

"True salvation is a state of freedom ― from fear, from suffering, from a perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therefore from all wanting, needing, grasping, and clinging. It is freedom from compulsive thinking, from negativity, and above all from past and future as a psychological need. Your mind is telling you that you cannot get there from here. Something needs to happen, or you need to become this or that before you can be free and fulfilled. It is saying, in fact, that you need time ― that you need to find, sort out, do, achieve, acquire, become, or understand something before you can be free or complete. You see time as the means to salvation, whereas in truth it is the greatest obstacle to salvation.

You think that you can’t get there from where and who you are at this moment because you are not yet complete or good enough, but the truth is that here and now is the only point from where you can get there. You “get” there by realizing that you are there already."- Eckhart Tolle

REalness

Ill never understand why people change like the weather...

If you want proper people in your life stay real ..but if you keep it plastic...thats all ur gonna get an ull always wonder why good people just walk away..

stay consistent...and be you 24/7...the real you...without transforming into a chameleon everyother month

keep the BS to a minimum and ull be amazed at the type of people God allows u to meet :)

luv it or leave it

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

Watch ur thoughts

"Do not waste the remainder of thy life in thoughts about others, when thou dost not refer thy thoughts to some object of common utility. For thou losest the opportunity of doing something else when thou hast such thoughts as these, What is such a person doing, and why, and what is he saying, and what is he thinking of, and what is he contriving, and whatever else of the kind makes us wander away from the observation of our own ruling power. We ought then to check in the series of our thoughts everything that is without a purpose and useless, but most of all the over-curiousfeeling and the malignant; and a man should use himself to think of those things only about which if one should suddenly ask, What hast thou now in thy thoughts? With perfect openness thou mightest, immediately answer, This or That; so that from thy words it should be plain that everything in thee is simple and benevolent, and such as befits a social animal, and one that cares not for thoughts about pleasure or sensual enjoyments at all, nor has any rivalry or envy and suspicion, or anything else for which thou wouldst blush if thou shouldst say that thou hadst it in thy mind. For the man who is such and no longer delays being among the number of the best, is like a priest and minister of the gods, using too the deity which is planted within him, which makes the man uncontaminated by pleasure, unharmed by any pain, untouched by any insult, feeling no wrong, a fighter in the noblest fight, one who cannot be overpowered by any passion, dyed deep with justice, accepting with all his soul everything which happens and is assigned to him as his portion; and not often, nor yet without great necessity and for the general interest, imagining what another says, or does, or thinks. For it is only what belongs to himself that he makes the matter for his activity; and he constantly thinks of that which is allotted to himself out of the sum total of things, and he makes his own acts fair, and he is persuaded that his own portion is good. For the lot which is assigned to each man is carried along with him and carries him along with it. And he remembers also that every rational animal is his kinsman, and that to care for all men is according to man's nature; and a man should hold on to the opinion not of all, but of those only who confessedly liveaccording to nature. But as to those who live not so, he always bears in mind what kind of men they are both at home and from home, both by night and by day, and what they are, and with what men they live an impure life. Accordingly, he does not value at all the praise which comes from such men, since they are not even satisfied with themselves. "- Aurelius

beautiful verse

"It may well be that you hate a thing the while it is good for you, and it may well be that you love a thing the while it is bad for you: and God knows, whereas you do not know."

Tupacs poems

These are my favorite poems written by Tupac...their beautiful

Ambition Over Adversity

Take one's adversity
Learn from their misfortune
Learn from their pain
Believe in something
Believe in yourself
Turn adversity into ambition
Now blossom into wealth

God

when I was alone and had nothing
I asked 4 a friend 2 help me bear the
pain no one came except...GOD

when I needed a breath 2 rise
from my sleep no one could
help me except....GOD

when all i saw was sadness
and I needed answers no one
heard me except....GOD

so when I am asked who I
give my unconditional love 2
look for no other name
except.....GOD!

Why Must U be Faithful

MEN!
u shouldn't listen 2 your selfish heart
It doesn't really have a brain
Besides keeping you alive
Its existence is in vain
"How could I be so mean,
and say your heart has no place?"
Because mortal men fall in love again
as fast as they change their face
I may be cruel, but think awhile about
The hearts u have broken
Match that with the empty vows
and broken promises u've spoken
I am not saying females R perfect
Because men we know its not true
But why must u be unfaithful
If her heart is true 2 u!!!!

daddys patience

My father is probably the most patient man iv ever met and I learned this weekend that his patience is probably one of the things I love about him the most and that I need to be more patient with everything in life.

Spending time with him also made me realize more now then ever how much of a beautiful individual he is. His kind character has never changed despite the things that life has thrown at him ...his essence has never changed and it never will.

O Oprah do ur thing an give that advice

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always."

Religion

Im still growing with my spirituality...but I believe the fundamentals of being a true believer is not about how many times you go to a mosque, a church, donate money or pray, I believe the essence of being a true believer is in how you treat others. How you treat others who have done you wrong, let you down and how you treat people who can do you no benefit. I love religion and I love God. I drifted away for a while from that but im coming back to it, God that is.

These sayings are absolutely beautiful...and they are what I strive to embody....they are a few out of many beautiful others...

Some beautiful Islamic sayings....

-"Good character is half of faith"

-"Happy is the person who finds fault with himself
instead of finding fault with other"

-"The best of God's servants are those who when seen remind you of God;
and the worst of God's servants are those who spread tales
to do mischief and separate friends, and look for the faults of the good."

-"What I fear most for my people are the hypocrites, who talk wisely, yet act unjustly"

These are all saying from the Prophet Muhammad PBUH...

Jesus also said

" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

-"You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you"

Marcus Aurelius

Unhappy am I because this has happened to me.- Not so, but happy am I, though this has happened to me, because I continue free from pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearing the future. For such a thing as this might have happened to every man; but every man would not have continued free from pain on such an occasion. Why then is that rather a misfortune than this a good fortune? And dost thou in all cases call that a man's misfortune, which is not a deviation from man's nature? And does a thing seem to thee to be a deviation from man's nature, when it is notcontrary to the will of man's nature? Well, thou knowest the will of nature. Will then this which has happened prevent thee from being just, magnanimous, temperate, prudent, secure against inconsiderate opinions and falsehood; will it prevent thee from having modesty, freedom, and everything else, by the presence of which man's nature obtains all that is its own? Remember too on every occasion which leads thee to vexation to apply this principle: not that this is a misfortune, but that to bear it nobly is good fortune.

Essence of God

extremely beautiful quote

"The human understanding cannot go so far of its natural power as to grasp His (God) substance, since under the conditions of the present life the knowledge of our understanding commences with sense; and therefore objects beyond sense cannot be grasped by human understanding except so far as knowledge is gathered of them through the senses. But things of sense cannot lead our understanding to read in them the essence of the Divine Substance, inasmuch as they are effects inadequate to the power that caused them. Nevertheless our understanding is thereby led to some knowledge of God, namely, of His existence and of other attributes that must necessarily be attributed to the First Cause. There are, therefore, some points of intelligibility in God, accessible to human reason, and other points that altogether transcend the power of human reason."

Prayer and Confidence in God

"When My servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I answer their prayers when they pray to Me. The people shall respond to Me and believe in Me, in order to be guided." (2:186)

"Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. "

Two beautiful verses that have a lot of meaning when you think about them. First of all we need to seek help and guidance everyday from God who is capable of everything. I think we tend to forget how powerful he is, and He has the power to change something in a second. So pray to him for your problems and remember that He can do everything and anything. Sometimes there are things that we cannot control and therefore we should rely, trust and lean on God.

After doing so, be confident and fearless. Go do the impossible and the work that He brought you here for. Dont waste time doing what the majority of people are doing, and chase foolishness. Keep your mind upright and struggle to be the best individual you can be with the help of God and through Him you will gain confidence that will make you move mountains. Through Him the impossible becomes possible. Believe it babayyy

Friends

Be aware of you spend time with and be aware of who you call friends.

Friends should be there to uplift and guide you. I personally am very blessed to have had and kept the most wonderful friends a woman can ask for. I know and love these individuals who have taught me strength when I was weak and picked me up when I fell to the ground. Thats what we all need, people who, as Oprah would say, take the bus if the limo breaks down.

Today I am thankful for this blessing and I am always reminded by it. Not many people have amazing friends in their lives, and thank God I do. I pray that I stay a blessing to them as they will to me.

Much luv

Maya Angelou Wisdom

Convo btw her and Oprah...
Maya: I believe that a negative statement is poison. The air between you and me is filled with sounds and images. If that were not so, how is it that I can turn on a television right now and see what's happening in New York? That means sounds and images are in the air, crowded, jammed up like bats. And Oprah, I'm convinced that the negative has power. It lives. And if you allow it to perch in your house, in your mind, in your life, it can take you over. So when the rude or cruel thing is said—the lambasting, the gay bashing, the hate—I say, "Take it all out of my house!" Those negative words climb into the woodwork and into the furniture, and the next thing you know they'll be on my skin.
Oprah: The same is true with the positive spirit
Maya: I love a statement by the apostle Paul, in the Book of Philippians in the Bible. I think the Corinthians had been writing to Paul, telling him that old men were chasing young women, nobody was tithing—and all that must have run Paul crazy. He wrote back and said, "If there be anything of good report, speak of these things." That's one of my principles. I know it sounds the same [as the one I just mentioned], but it's separate. It's another discipline that I encourage myself to employ—to, as much as possible, say the courteous thing, and then be it.
Oprah: My favorite Maya teaching is, "When people show you who they are, believe them."
Maya: Yes—and believe them the first time!
Oprah: You've told me a lot of things, but that's the one principle that really resonates. If you can just get that, you can do okay.

Maya: You can save yourself a lot of anger.
Oprah: I once heard you say, "If you want to liberate someone, love them."

Maya: That's it. Not be in love with them—that's dangerous. If you're in love with your children, you're in their lives all the time. Leave them alone! Let them grow and make some mistakes. Tell them, "You can come home. My arms are here—and my mouth is too." Tell them, "I'm going to leave you alone. You want to listen to rock and rap? Well, I think it's stupid, but help yourself." When you really love them, you don't want to possess them. You don't say, "I love you and I want you here with me." Naturally, if you love somebody, you do want to see their face every now and again, but that's not a condition of your love. People often get possession mixed up with love, and they say, "If you really loved me, you would call me." How—when life is going on? I think of you all the time, and the thought of you always lifts my spirits. But I'm not right at the phone!
Oprah: Have you been able to manage that kind of love even in romance?

Maya: It's hard, but I do it—and I don't know how. When I love somebody, I like him to be around; I like him to take me out to dinner; I like to look at the sunset with him. But if not, I love him and I hope he's looking at the same sun I am. Loving someone liberates the lover as well as the beloved. And that kind of love comes with age. Some of this wisdom came to me after I was 50 or 60.

LOve me Love me

You can alter your self definition at any time by growing in self awareness. Through self exploration, you can learn to identify and change your weaknesses and bad habits into strengths.
Building self identity is a constant thing that should never be stopped. You go through experiences, some great and some not, that helps build your character.Both your psychological and physical being is in a constant process of growth and its on you to maintain that growth positively. Nurture your mind, soul and body everyday. Try not to go a single day without feeding positive energy into one of these three dimensions. Thirst for knowledge, search for God and give yourself time to exercise and get into the best physical condition you can be in. God bless!

Trusting God...

Sometimes things go on in our life that we don't understand.
We got to trust God all the time, even when we do not understand or wrap our minds around something. Your faith will be tested over and over, but remaining steadfast and patient with God and his judgement is important. He has bigger plans for us then we know and even though we might not see it now, we will in the future.

I have always struggled with completely leaving things to God but now I know its what I need to do. He told us repeatedly that if we call on Him and trust Him, He will help us with this thing we call life. In time, His plans for us will be revealed.

DrEaM Big or Go hOme!!

"I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes...I suppose ..I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful "...I love that song...although uh Trey u can keep the hoes...we dont want em lol
anyway my message for today is...Believe in your dreams.
The subconscious mind soaks up thoughts like a sponge. Its very important to alter your train of thoughts and try your best to eliminate negative impulses that run through your brain.
If you look at many successful individuals, you will see that their success is a result of their powerful minds combined with skill ofcorse. Indviduals like Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, and Oprah, to name a few, truly understood the power of positive thinking and having a persistant attitude that looks past adversity.One of my favorite quotes is from Kobe Bryant ( my dream husband lol)...he said "The guy said NBA players are one in a million, ... I said, 'Man, look, I'm going to be that one in a million." ..this just goes to show what kind of mentality this person has.

Napoledan Hill goes into detail about this in his book "Think and grow rich"...
One of my favorite passages:

"If you think you're beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost for sure, you won't.

If you think you're losing, you've lost.
For out in the world we find -
Success begins with a person's will,
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise.
You have to stay with it,
In order to win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go,
To the stronger or faster man
But soon or late the one who wins
is the ONE WHO THINKKS HE CAN"

I have alotta dreams...always have...and I wont settle until I accomplish them all. You need to do the same, be fearless.Prepare, visualize and believe it BAYBAYYYYYYYYYY..and DONT GET SIDETRACKED...an if u do...realize whats happening and hop back on track!

Ladies.....

Dont be on call like a rookie beauty consultant...
KNOW YOUR WORTH
Please, thanks and thats all for now :)

Sum Summer Cleaning

In the words of B Scott....sometimes you just gotta do some early (Summer) cleaning!
You need to evaluate and reevaluate those you have in your life right now. Each person in your life right now should be a person who is helping you grow as an individual, a person who is helping you be the best you you can be.
So....assess, reassess, evaluate, and ship out if they cant shape up :)

Random Advice

We live in a world where common morality is slowy fading, but it is the strength that lies within us that allows us to stay true to who we are. Life has brought its ups and downs and its highs and lows but courage from within allows us to trod on and continue through the adversity.

People come in and out of your life, its on YOU to choose who YOU want to staY and who you want to let go of. Its sad how sometimes people take advantage of your kindness and trust, and mistaken it for weakness. You cant let that phase you though, always remember you will meet someone who will appreciate and love you for who you are. And never make bad experiences turn you into someone who treats others the way they wouldnt want to be treated....karma is a reality that everyone faces one way or the other. And in the event that you do make mistakes, which you will since everyone does, own up to them and be humble enough to apologize and admit your wrong when you need to.

Stay strong and do not lose hope in people. God will bless you with the right people in time, you need to go through pain sometimes because it builds character.

Morals

Morals and values are a reflection of character ; the way you treat people who can give you nothing, the way men treat women, the way women treat men, the way you personally treat family and those who have done you wrong...all that reflects on your morals and values. What I don't understand is how one claims to be "moral" but often times their morals go on a mini vacation, the values come and go from time to time, depending on the situation.

If your a moral person...your moral through and through. You respect yourself and others, you treat thy neighbor as you would want to be treated, and you aspire towards personal growth..growth that goes beyond being attached to money/material things/women/men. Growth that stems from knowledge and hardship. Growth that allows you to appreciate every blessing that God so kindly hands to you, keeping in mind that the one who gave it to you can take it away if you misuse it.

Whats really good is when you can actually look in the mirror, strip away all your possessions and still see a proper human being. Strip away the friends, the status, the relationship, the fame, the fortune and see the essence of who you really are...a moral person. A person that understands the value of immaterial things and a person who values whats Real in life. A person that stands for something and therefore does not fall for anything and everything that life throws your way.

You cant change nobody

It took me a while to finally understand that I cant change people. I always believed that people have the capacity to change and become better, however I failed to realize that change comes from within. People only change when they truly want to. I finally learned this just about a year ago and I believe its probably one of the most valuable life lessons I have ever learned.

Us women often try to change men into what we want them to be and we sit around and wait until the change happens. This needs to stop. We need to realize that change comes internally and the only person you can change is YOU! We need to stop making excuses for people and their behavior and just let them be, if we don't feel comfortable with them as they are.

Maya Angelou says it best " When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." And this quote I found to be so true throughout life. People always reveal themselves but unfortunately, we turn a blind eye or we try to change them into what we want them to become.

Sometimes you just need to let go of people and let them change on their own!